Amber, Archived on March 5, 2018
I’ve never grown up playing sports, so catching all of these curveballs is incredibly difficult. Plus, I’m terrified of breaking my nails.
I wanted to come on here to post a bit of a life update as so much has happened and simultaneously, so much has not happened. Those of you that know me, know that I do not handle school well. Hell, how well can you handle something that you really don’t want to do? How many people can handle well something that you feel is absolutely sucking the life out of you? How many people can handle being drained every single day? I certainly don’t. And lately, I feel like I have been drained a lot. If one thing goes right, another goes left. If I have something to celebrate, then I also have something to mourn. Life has not been giving me a break, so I decided to make my own.
I took the first couple months of the year to really focus. I will be graduating soon and whether I even wanted the degree or not is no longer the question, it’s what will I do with it? This is yet to be answered. I also got the heart-wrenching news that one of my dearest friends who is close to my age has been diagnosed with cancer and after watching my mom suffer through it for a whole year, I really was in shock and faced a mix of emotions. When things like this happen, when healthy 20-somethings get cancer, or even when healthy 40-somethings like my mom do, then I can’t help but wonder who is safe. And the hypochondriac in me goes into a frenzy (but, this is not about me!) Moreover, it makes me realize that life is about more than a new eyeshadow palette and while beauty and fashion are incredibly important to me and are some of my truest passions in life, facing these cancer diagnoses of people who are so close to me has made me want to add more to this blog, to make it well-rounded and to make it about more than just the material things in life. I had been compiling lists of ideas before, but this was not just a push in the right direction but more so a shove. Thank you K for shoving me.
Life is short. Life is unexpected. Life is absolutely bat shit crazy. But it’s here, it’s now and there is nothing you can do about it. So live it.
The Amber Archives is more important to me than I even know myself and it is certainly more important to me than I have been letting on. TAA is a place for me to pour out my emotions when things like this happen, TAA is a safe place for my inner child who never got to write like she wanted to, TAA is a safe place for my current me who cares more than I should about liquid lipstick formulas and gets to write about it. The Amber Archives are my archives. One day, when I am older (but still not wrinkly because I believe in botox) I want to go on here and look back at the things I did, the crazy clothes I wore, the books I was reading and whereas posts like this may come off sappy or some of you may even possibly find them annoying (which, if this is you, fuck off please) I want to see these archived diaries and life updates so that K and I can reflect on how she beat cancer and so that I can laugh about how much I hated school but am glad I did it (definitely not feeling this way yet, may need another ten years – minimum). I want to see the life I lived. The life I thrived at. I want to see and hold my archives.
Thank you for joining me here on The Amber Archives. Regularly scheduled fashion and beauty posts coming soon, as well as other fun recipes, book ideas, podcasts and whatever else the fuck I want because this is my site and these are my archives.
archive; an extensive record or collection of data.
I’ll see you back here at our regularly scheduled times on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. You may even see me on a Sunday every now and then. Get excited!